New Unis: An Aesthetic Evaluation

As denimjersey chronicled in his most recent post, Kentucky throttled Tennessee last night behind 13 second-half points from Eric Bledsoe and a John Wall performance reminiscent of a John Wall performance from five weeks ago.  Really, save for an uncharacteristically poor shooting night by DeMarcus Cousins and a couple of Darius Miller-like performances from Darius Miller and Perry Stevenson, all the Wildcats played well.  All things considered, as a team, it was one of Kentucky’s better-played games of the season.

I think I speak for everyone when I say I could care less.

Last night’s story was the new uniforms.  Period.  Anything else in the form of Gameday or Calipari v. Pearl-related storylines were mere distractions from the real reason 24,000 packed Rupp Arena: The new threads.

Are you having trouble deciding how you felt about them?  You’re not alone.  Fortunately for you and John Clay, Lexpats is here to help the only way we know how: Force-feeding you our opinions through a top-to-bottom evaluation of the new look.


Overall, I’d call it a subtle yet positive change.  They eliminated that stupid bar that ran across the shoulders of their previous jerseys, and they upgraded from one barely-noticeable thread pattern to another.  Both good moves.

Also, the blue fabric lining the neck and shoulders of the uniforms now perfectly match John Wall and Eric Bledoe’s accessorized arm sleeves, an aesthetic component that I’m sure factored heavily into the design process.

Most people tend to focus on just the jersey and overlook the importance of the nether region of a uniform.  These people are fools; the shorts are just as important.  I should know; I purchased every single pair of basketball shorts the UK Bookstore released between the years of 2002 and 2006, solely with money from my parents’ plus account.  The fact that I didn’t have a dollar to buy books afterward mattered not.  I had both the blue and the white version of UK’s throwback shorts they wore during a severely disappointing seven-game stretch back in 2006, and how many people do you know that can say that? The two
compliments I received for my collection were more than enough to help me get over the fact that I failed ECO-391 back-to-back
semesters because I never owned the book.
There are three core components to a good pair of shorts:
FitAnd as you can see, these fit quite nicely.  More than long enough, but not too baggy.
View from the front. Two words come to mind in regards to this component: Remarkably plain.
View from the side. I’ll admit to not being hip to the significance of the design within the blue streak that runs down the bottom half of the shorts, so I’ll reserve judgment.  As for the rest of the side-view, I think we’ve got a lot to be proud of.  The giant UK logo is in no-man’s-land (about six-tenths of the way up the side), but somehow still works.  And the blue streak that believes itself to be too cool to go all the way up to the waistband is just rebellious enough for me to like it.
Overall grade?  I give them a B+.  There’s nothing about the uniform that I love, but lots that I’m completely okay with.  On the grand hierarchy of former UK uniforms, they belong somewhere between the the icicle shorts and the throwbacks.

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