Return of the Reverselexpat

That song did not inspire me to resume blogging but it would’ve been hilarious if it did. Anyway, I hate always starting these things off talking about myself and how long it’s been since my last post and how lazy I am but it seems odd to post again after such a  long hiatus without saying anything, so there, it’s been acknowledged. Now on to the rambling…

Two rounds into the tournament and UK is just now FINALLY looking like a legitimate threat to win the National Championship. Despite only losing twice all year and having so much talent, this team has always looked quite beatable to me. We just don’t put teams away like we should and eventually that can get you. The whole ‘will to win’ angle is nice but I get a lot more confident/enthusiastic about our chances when we’re destroying people and that’s exactly what we’ve done the past two games. Everything seems to be clicking. Wall is being Wall, Cousins has managed to keep his emotions in check while still be being a huge force inside, Bledsoe has really stepped up his shooting, and Miller has finally convinced me he’s for real. That whole bit I did awhile ago about how slow his shot was looks a bit outlandish now. I seriously think he worked on it because I swear it really did seem so much slower earlier in the year. I’ve come around though, he should be starting over Dodson. He’s clearly a better all-around player, but I still think Dodson’s the best shooter on the team. In addition to the Cats really hitting their stride, we should all give a huge thanks to the heroics of Ali Farokhmanesh for knocking off the dreaded Jayhawks. That wide open three point dagger at the end was awesome. Interesting side note, Farokhmanesh is Arabic for Boogie. (Citation desperately needed.)

Ali 'the Jayhawk Killa' Boogie

One of my favorite features RV:WT does here at Lexpatriates is his ‘Stuff I’ve Read and Liked’ posts. So keeping with that theme/blatantly ripping it off, here is some stuff I’ve read and liked….

While The Simpsons is far from being the funniest show on TV anymore, anyone who has ever enjoyed it would appreciate this profile of one of the show’s best writers when it was still relatively close to its peak: “Taking Humor Serioulsy – George Meyer, the funniest man behind the funniest show on TV.” The New Yorker, March 13, 2000.

Despite the fact that The Onion has been a popular and critically acclaimed website for almost 15 years, people still can’t seem to grasp that it is fiction. That said, THIS IS NOT REAL, JUST FUNNY:  “Man On Internet Almost Falls Into World Of DIY Mustard Enthusiasts.” The Onion, March 11, 2010.,17013/.

I feel like I’m coming off as know-it-all even name-dropping him, but this is a pretty interesting article about David Foster Wallace (pictured below), the acclaimed author who killed himself over a year ago. I’ve read some of his work and while I’ll admit huge portions of it went over my head, I enjoyed it and honestly felt somewhat enlightened for having read it: “The Unfinished.” The New Yorker, March 9, 2009.

He's smarter than you.

While keeping with the David Foster Wallace theme, here’s an article he wrote about the great Roger Federer. Like everything else he’s written, it is a bit long but it’s a good read and will enhance your appreciation of Federer, if not tennis in general: “Federer as Religious Experience.” The New York Times, August 20, 2006.

I feel like I should again weigh in on the Tiger Woods fiasco but I just don’t know what more there is to say on the subject. He really is a pretty despicable guy and his pathetic attempts at wining back the public (his ‘press conference’ and ‘interviews’) have been a joke. I’m no public relations expert, but the best route to winning back the people seems to be complete honesty from the beginning. David Letterman handled his controversy masterfully when he addressed it on his show before the story even broke. Tiger has not. I really don’t see how his wife can stay with him after all this, especially after those graphic/hilarious text messages to the porn star. Doesn’t that have to be the final straw? I really want to see her leave him, specifically for John Daly. I’m pretty sure that would be the most awesome thing ever. In Tiger’s defense, I almost believe his whole sex addiction story. I’ve always found the concept of sex addition to be a rather weak/silly excuse, but if it is a real thing, I’m pretty sure Tiger’s got it. Some of his decisions have been so mind-blowingly bad, it’s hard to believe they were caused by your standard run-of-the mill hornyness. He seems to have some sort of super human uber-hornyness that is exhausting to even contemplate. If it is a true addiction he’s battling, I can’t imagine the withdrawal he’s going through right now…

It's doesn't burn when I pee anymore!...

I miss the burn!!


What About Dodson?

There’s a lot of talk on this site about Darius Miller’s role on the team but little mention of Darnell Dodson. To me, he’s got to start over Miller and DeAndre Liggins. I’m no expert, but Dodson really does seem to have the potential to be a great scorer. He’s already got a deadly 3-point shot. He gets it off in no time at all and it ALWAYS looks like it’s going in. Miller on the other hand has one of the slower releases I’ve seen… Miller’s shot is so slow he doesn’t just plant his feet, he waits for them to germinate! (Feel free to use that one.)

'...aiming....Aiming....STILL AIMING!!'

In addition to Dodson’s 3-pointers, in recent games he’s also started to drive to the basket more and create his own shots. He’s also got good height for a shooting guard, which has to be his most natural spot. If he could bulk up a bit he’d really start looking like a fine NBA player as opposed to Perry Stevenson’s little brother.

'I'm not skinny, I'm just little-boned!'

On a somewhat unrelated note, I’m really starting to come around to Big Cuz. (I’m never coming around to ‘Boogie’. Sure, it’s probably a reference to the musical term, but it also has a more nasally connotation. I honestly think I’d prefer if he just went by ‘Phlegm’.) Anyway, the point is I’ve really started to like this kid. It might have something to do with the fact that he’s become f-ing awesome, but DeMarcus Cousins’ expressiveness has become kind of endearing. He just really can’t help himself. As long as they can keep it in check, players that wear their emotions on their sleeves have always been rather likable…. Rasheed Wallace, Allen Iverson, and Antoine Walker come to mind. (Those players are all likable, right?) Cousins doesn’t mean any harm, he’s just more transparent than others and I think that’s a good thing. Just please stick to expressing yourself with your face and not your elbows.

Cousins' poker face

Sports Media Bitch Fest

So I finally had something I was going to blog about yesterday and Religious Views: Wayne Turner beat me to the punch. I too was rather shocked how high Eric Bledsoe was projected to go in the draft and was going to express this with about 200 words and a picture. However, after his thorough summation of the story I don’t have much more to add beyond saying that if Bledsoe is a top 12 pick, I know nothing about basketball and should probably just focus on recommending tv shows and ripping on Tiger Woods, (more on that later).

I'm gonna be rich!!!!

Instead of just lamenting a missed opportunity, (my standard operating procedure), something else caught my eye today on the great KSR which should pretty much be considered required reading for anyone wanting to discuss Kentucky sports. Today the blogger Brian the Intern mentioned his dislike of Tony Kornheiser and I inadvertently blurted out an ‘Amen!’ Kornheiser has got to be one of the most overrated media personalities… scratch that, HUMANS, ever. I couldn’t believe my eyes when previously on KSR, its founder Matt Jones, cited Kornheiser as one of his writing idols. That would be the equivalent of Conan O’Brien calling Jay Leno his comedy idol… Just typing that made me cringe.

America, Please Stop Watching this Man!!

Like many tv/radio personalities, Kornheiser seems to love the sound of his own voice. That wouldn’t be such a great sin if Kornheiser didn’t have one of the more insufferable voices known to mankind. Gilbert Gottfried finds Kornheiser’s voice whiny. [citation needed]  In addition to the voice is the fact that he knows very little about sports and often seems proud of this. I honestly don’t think he likes sports. He likes the personalities involved in the games but that’s about where it ends. On his show Pardon the Interuption, the program often concludes with Tony and Michael Wilbon making their TV picks; a typical Tony suggestion… Dancing with the Stars. WTF!? That about sums up Tony’s contributions to sports media.

Brett Favre + Dancing with the Stars = orgasmic bliss

While he’s got nothing on Tony, Wilbon is also on the overrated side. He comes across as being much more knowledgable about sports  but he always seems to be playing favorites with the athletes. I haven’t watched the show much recently for obvious reasons, but I would be curious to see his take on ‘his boy’ Tiger Woods’ conundrum. While I’m sure it was addressed, I can’t imagine Wilbon having anything but the gentlest, most sympathetic comments about Woods. One time on the show, the topic of discussion was (paraphrasing) ‘Who’s a better athlete, Tiger Woods or Roger Federer?’ Wilbon, of course, thought it was Tiger without question. Yeah right. I don’t care how ripped Tiger looks, he’s still just a fucking golfer. He probably gets more exercise with his whores. A professional golfer…

God I'd love to get back down to my bowling weight.

Area Man Resumes Blogging

If it isn’t already obvious, I’m not the most productive Lexpat out there. I blame this on a combination of laziness, business, and a lack of quality motivational posters. I fought through these roadblocks though and have come up with some random thoughts and pictures…

I stared at this picture for an hour before deciding to take a nap.

The Louisville game has been already thoroughly analyzed here and elsewhere so I don’t have much more to add, but I will say that Big Cuz’s elbow shot was a bit over the line. Even with it being a very intense rivalry game it was not warranted and while I was really hoping he wouldn’t be ejected, I couldn’t have argued if he was. As demonstrated by about everyone else on the court, it’s possible to play with high emotions without trying to assault someone.

It's ok, I'm just a fierce competitor!

Speaking of the Louisville game, does everyone see them as our biggest rival? From the perspective of someone who has only lived in KY for about 10 years, Florida is our biggest rival, or at least the team I personally most want to see us beat. I totally understand why Louisville might be seen as our top rival what with their geographic proximity and of course the Rick Pitino factor. However, Pitino’s betrayal is getting to be somewhat old news, and while Louisville is physically closer to UK, I feel closer to the other teams in the SEC East. We play Florida at least twice a season, and in recent years they seem to have come closer than anyone in challenging UK’s dominance in the SEC. Plus there’s the Noah factor.

Urge to kill rising...

Also, I know I missed the chance to make a Christmas gift suggestion post… significantly, but I really do like telling people what they should like, so I now present you with a Martin Luther King, Jr. Day gift suggestions list! (It’s on Jan. 15th.)

You think I'm gonna make fun of Martin Luther King?

First of all, I’d like to second the suggestion of a fellow Lexpat, Mad Men is a really good show. He’s already described it in more detail, so just know that it is very well done and will subtly get you hooked. (Also, its got a great theme song.)

A mad man.

Another show I highly suggest owning, or at least DVRing (if you don’t have DVR by now you’re probably kinda slow and won’t appreciate these shows anyway, and don’t give me the excuse that it’s too much money, it’s only $5 a month!) is Parks and Recreation. If you like The Office you should love this show. It’s from a lot of the same writers and while its documentary style is the same, Parks and Rec has definitely created its own world of hilarious characters. I’d say it’s probably the funniest show on tv right now.

Just some of my Thursday night friends.

Finally, while keeping with the tv theme, you should check out Cleveland. I understand the skeptics. Spinoffs are generally lame and Family Guy itself has already passed its peak but this show is just plain funny. If you don’t know, it’s about Cleveland Brown, Peter Griffin’s black friend on Family Guy. The jokes are fast and edgy like Family Guy but the stories and characters are slightly more down to Earth, and the voices of the characters alone are even hilarious.

What's not to love?

Watch these things!

Hey, it’s Tiger… I mean Reverselexpat

I’m back and I’ve got a lot to say! Actually I don’t. My contributions to this blog have reminded me of why I’ve never started a blog of my own, I’m lazy and don’t have much to contribute beyond talking about myself, and bitching about others. Despite these glaring shortcomings I will soldier on, for you, the reader.

Reverselexpat getting psyched to blog.

First of all, I don’t think I’m breaking any new ground with this insight but John Wall has a knack for basketball. I mean.. wow… I think I speak for many Kentucky fans when I say the first half of Saturday’s game was the most fun I’ve had watching UK play in ages. Unfortunately, he is such a difference maker that we are a vastly inferior team without him. Hopefully it can be attributed to a lingering injury but Eric Bledsoe didn’t exactly fill his shoes in the second half. As much talent as there is on this team, so far it’s clearly Wall that brings it all together and at this rate I don’t see us making the Sweet 16 without him.

Be careful John! We need those precious knees… those sturdy ankles… that well insulated elbow...

Speaking of saviors, thank God for Daniel Orton. His sublime impact has been pointed out here by denimjersey already and in a post by Hunter Campbell on KSR which hits on his impact even deeper. He makes the point that without Orton, Demarcus Cousins would become almost unbenchable which is a scary thought. Don’t get me wrong, Cousins has shown some amazing talent. He probably has more NBA potential than anyone on the team not named John Wall. However, when he is not being a force inside, he always looks pouty and frustrated, think Randolph Morris minus the retardation. I always feel he’s on the verge of taking the basketball and going home. Without the threat of getting benched for Orton, his attitude might become more of a distraction. Fortunately, while Orton clearly doesn’t have the potential of Cousins, he is a very legitimate back-up and defensive force. On top of that, perhaps some his stroicness might rub off on Big Cuz.

So sleepy...

Finally, this is in no way UK related, but how about Tiger Woods? This gets crazier by the day. It’s hard to form a definitive take on this story since it keeps unraveling but by this point, I think its clear Tiger Woods’ current image is shot. One isolated ‘transgression’ might’ve been forgiven but as of today he is approaching double digits including one 31 month long affair with a girl from the reality show Tool Academy. That is one hell of a ‘transgression’. These are not the actions a family man making a horrible mistake but rather those of a true playa. I think it’s time Tiger embraces that lifestyle and stops trying to pretend otherwise. He doesn’t have to worry about endorsements, he’s already staggeringly wealthy. He’s done nothing that could get him kicked off the tour and hinder his golf dreams. The embarrassment of coming out as a playa has already transpired unless there’s something really sordid we have yet to hear about (fingers crossed.) For all these reasons, the time now seems right for Tiger to drop the family man charade and let his inner pimp flourish. If that’s the life he wants to lead I say go for it, but there’s no reason to make us and especially his seemingly decent wife look like chumps in the process.

Why does it burn when I pee now?!?!?!

One more…

It’s okay Tiger. I know it itches but you’ve got to focus on this putt.

Why So Positive?

Bashing UK fans is probably not the best way to bring more readers to this site but I do have an issue with a certain segment of Big Blue Nation. I’m referring to those whose devotion to the Wildcats has caused them to reject anything but the most positive news regarding their favorite team. (Grammatically incorrect, longwinded rant coming). These people include those who defended Gillispie to the bitter end (not because they necessarily liked him, but simply because he was The Coach), those who equate Jerry Tipton with Satan, those who view any criticism of a UK player as an act of terrorism against the state and use the defense that, ‘They’re just kids’… Actually, they’re not. It’s called Men’s basketball. If you’re old enough go to war you’re probably old enough to have your jump shot critiqued, and generally just anyone whose greatest fear in life is that which may ‘hurt the program’, their precious, precious program.

Not one of our starting five.

Now, before any of you start calling for my deportation back to New England, I want to stress I really do love UK basketball and UK sports in general. As I mentioned in my first post, I consider myself a loyal Kentucky fan since 1996. Despite my passion for the team, I don’t live in the fantasy world that some fans seem to. Kentucky is not infallible and those that want to pretend it is are actually doing a disservice to the program, and being bad Christians (!!!) The logic here being that holding people (players, coaches, World Wide Weses) accountable for their actions will help prevent these negative actions, whatever they may be, from occurring in the future. It is possible to be critical of a team while still being a true fan of that very same team. Pretty crazy, I know.

I’m sure many of you don’t see how any action that brings us closer to a championship could be negative. A common sentiment seems to be that player/coach transgressions should be overlooked/downplayed while recruiting violations should be almost encouraged. The problem with this thinking, aside from the blatant moral shadiness, is that in the long run it won’t even help win games. The more bad behavior is accepted, the more prevalent and worse it becomes. (Pretty sure I got that from Dr. Phil.) The counterargument to this, at least in regards to the recruiting aspect, was summed up fairly accurately by the great Sir Charles Barkley. He said something to the effect of, ‘You ain’t tryin if you ain’t cheatin.’ There is some truth to this. In the hyper-competitive world of big time college sports, a program must constantly be willing to push the envelope, not just to get ahead, but simply to keep up. While this drive to succeed should be commended, it must also be watched. Doing whatever it takes to win can quickly become a very slippery slope. One day John Wall is suspended for an exhibition game, next we’re vacating Final Fours, losing scholarships, and all going to Hell. I know that was a rather insane leap but my point is that if we create a culture where UK can do no wrong, we’re going to be destined a for a rude awakening. That said, Go Cats!